no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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