You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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