i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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