Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
