In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
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