So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Randomize
