I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
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