He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
