Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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