Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
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