I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
It's blow job season.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Randomize
