Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
We are all done wearing pants today
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
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