I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
