i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I have tasted many bathrooms
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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