you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I intend to get homeless drunk
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
