ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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