he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
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