i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
