i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
