All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
