the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
