We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
