Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
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