Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
