Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
