I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
