Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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