Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Randomize
