tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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