He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
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