You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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