Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
