wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize