She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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