I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
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