belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
