Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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