you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
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