idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Randomize