I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
