she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Randomize
