dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Randomize
