The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
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