It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I have tasted many bathrooms
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
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