Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
