There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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