she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Randomize
