OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
