Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
tell me about the fingering
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