i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
You are a genius and a whore.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Randomize
