I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
sarcasm needs its own font
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
