just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
