I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
