my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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