Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
