Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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