we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I can tuck mytits in my pants
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
