Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
