Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
