I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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